My Heroes

Zoe saved my life last night.

I woke up with a start a little after midnight when I heard Zoe chasing something around the room. At first I thought, maybe it's a gecko that wiggled its way into the house.

And then I heard it. The worst sound to have ever reached my ears.

It was slimy, slithering, and I can't even begin to use adjectives that would give it any justice.

I reached over to the night table, turned on the light, and that's when I saw what Zoe had cornered.

A centipede.

Now the Hawaiian centipedes are no laughing matter. They are ginormous. A good twelve inches of legs and tentacles. No good. Emily had warned me about these creatures, but to hear about one and to see one in real life are two completely different experiences.

In shock, I watched as Zoe clawed at the monster and backed up when its tentacles brushed her face. That's when I realized this thing needs to get out of my house and now.

I popped out of bed and rushed into the kitchen, looking for anything I could use to capture the sucker. I settled on a pair of scissors, a wad of paper towels, and a tupperware bowl (the kind you can throw away). Armed (and somewhat dangerous), I reentered the bedroom and scanned the area for any sign of the beast.

Zoe found it first.

It was slithering toward the window, so I hopped up on the bed, positioned myself over the darn creature and sliced it with the scissors. Only the scissors wouldn't cut all the way through. The monstrosity writhed and wiggled and tossed and turned and in a panic, I dropped the scissors and tossed the plastic box over the thing.

I stared in horror contemplating my next move. That's when I remembered there was a man in the house.

My buddy Nick and his lady-friend, Alicia, are staying with me for the week. I sheepishly climbed the stairs to the upstairs bedroom and knocked on the door attempting to wake up Nick. He came to the door, a bit worried from the sound of my voice pleading for the man of the house to save me.

On the short trip back downstairs to the master bedroom, I explained I had trapped a centipede and needed him to finish it off. He chuckled at the thought of me being deathly afraid of a tiny little centipede. And then he saw it.

"Whoah!" Nick exclaimed. "Now I see what the big deal is. That sucker is huge!"

Instead of killing the giant piece of slime, Nick picked up the scissors/bowl contraption and headed for the garbage outside. As the great assistant, I threw open the top of the garbage can and slammed it down tight after Nick had released the beast from the grasp of the scissors.

We both walked back inside, said goodnight, but neither of us were able to sleep for quite some time after that adventure. I was deathly afraid of waking up to find a monster of a centipede crawling next to my precious head on my pillow, and Nick, well, he just wanted to read his book (that's what he says at least).

Despite my love/hate relationship with the dog, I was very thankful to have Zoe around last night. Oh, so very thankful. After all, she and Nick worked together to save my life.

Ah, my heroes.